6 April 2026

It is 2 am and she refused to sleep. I was waken up by her ! She was walking around the room searching for tbings. She is blaming me that she could not do her work for the past 2 hours because she needs to get over her anger. She is blaming me that she need go stay up late to finish her project because she need to follow me to work tomorrow morning. She blames everything on me! Is this the sign that we should just move on by our own? I am struggling and I am tired. She told me she hates this home and this family! she even told me my husband dont like this place. I have no place to go. This place used to be a place where i need for shelter and protect me for many years. She don"t know how to appreciate it because she …because she has never had to fight for it the way I did. She has never known what it means to have nowhere to go, no one to rely on, no certainty of tomorrow. To her, this home is just walls, rules, and expectations. To me, it was once safety. It was survival. I stood there in the dim light, watching her move around the room, angry, restless, lost in emotions she doesn’t yet know how to carry. And in that moment, I realized—she is not really fighting me. She is fighting something inside herself. The exhaustion hit me all at once. Not just from tonight, but from all the nights, all the arguments, all the times I tried to hold everything together while quietly falling apart. “Maybe we should just go our own ways,” the thought crossed my mind again. It felt tempting—like rest, like silence, like escape. But deep down, I knew… This isn’t about leaving. It’s about two people, both hurting, both tired, both not knowing how to love each other in the way the other needs. She says she hates this home. But maybe what she really means is—she doesn’t feel understood here. And I… I am not just tired because of her. I am tired because I’ve been strong for too long, with no one holding me the way I hold everyone else.